Comparison Games: Be {Thankful} for Your Child’s Accomplishments

Are you one of those moms? You know, the mom that {constantly} brags about her kid’s accomplishments? Or, how about the mom that is so focused on what her kid is NOT accomplishing that it’s disturbing? Secretly, many of the moms that are bragging about accomplishments are still inwardly comparing their kids to everyone else,
hoping to stay ahead of the game. Many mom’s suffer anxiety over what their kids aren’t doing, what milestones they have not reached and if anyone else has noticed. We live in a society where the comparison game will drive you insane!

We’re given check lists of what our kids should be doing and when. The problem is, no kid is the same. God has created us all uniquely and individually. Your child may not fit the mold or even come close to resembling the mold…and guess what, that’s OK!!

Early intervention is extremely helpful for some children. But the system is flawed, because it assumes that all children develop at the same pace.
Use milestone check-lists as a guideline, but don’t get too freaked out if your child falls behind in any one area. My girls were slower verbal developers, but they were both running and jumping by 10 months. My 5 year old LOVES art, crafts, reading, writing, etc. but took quite a while to “get” anything numbers and math oriented (I am the same way). One of the best parts about homeschooling is that I can keep her moving ahead in the areas she is excelling, while taking extra time to focus on the things she is not grasping yet. We work at her pace, not a nation-wide, general pace set by the average student. 

I am one of those moms that got freaked out early-on, when I saw other kids progressing faster than my daughter.
Isn’t it just crazy that at 6 months, we’re already comparing our kids and taking note of the things that they’re doing in comparison with everyone else? Wait a second, it starts earlier than that! How about within the first week of life? We’ve been programed to search for something that will give us bragging rights, something that will immediately label our child as “above average.” Whether it be, how early they sit up, how early they say their first word, how early they start reading, at what age they master algebra or graduate high school. It’s a never-ending comparison game! Have you lost your mind yet?

Last year at this time, I sat down to write up a progress report for my 5 year old.
Initially, I was just curious to compile a list of the academic milestones she has reached and see how it measures up with the national average. I was again reminded of how far she has come. I am so quick to get down about the areas she is struggling in, but God really reminded me how blessed I am by all the things she CAN do! I ended up making lists for all 3 kids, writing down as many positive things that I could think of. I would recommend for anyone that is getting freaked out over what their kids AREN’T doing, to make a list of all the things they CAN do! Pray for your child and thank God for blessing you with their life. Your child may have been diagnosed with a learning disability or have mental and physical limitations – thank God for their accomplishments and talents! These may include things like: being kind, sensitive, having a joyful personality, affectionate, etc. Assessment has it’s place, and special needs may require extra attention. Just remember, every child is unique, “fearfully and wonderfully made!”