The ability to sit quietly for any extended amount of time is a good thing, period. As adults, there are countless circumstances in our everyday lives that force our patience, and demand that we wait… For kids, this is no less true. If you lead an active lifestyle and are on the go or out and about with your kids, they will no doubt have plenty of opportunities to practice the discipline of waiting.Now, this is obviously easier said than done. Kids are very active by nature (some more than others) but putting the effort in now, to train your children when the pressure is low, will pay off time and time again as potentially stressful situations arise. Believe me, next time you have to wait with your kids at the doctor’s office or stand in line at an amusement park, you’ll be glad you put the work in.
It is possible for kids to practice patience, but remember, they are kids! As a parent, you have the delicate responsibility of teaching virtues and life lessons (like the discipline of sitting still), but it will take patents and grace on your part as well! Hang in there, reinforce concepts you have put in place, stick with little things for the long hull. There may be a lot of people out there that disagree with me on this, but I think there is a healthy balance between giving your child grace and room to be a child, while setting standards for them and going through seasons of training that seem to be a constant battle. Here are some ideas to keep you going:
- Create lots of little “low stress” opportunities for your kids to practice siting quietly. Meal times are a great example. Get kids in the habit of sitting still and quietly at the table for each meal. Reward good behavior and follow through on warnings to discourage disobedience. You have to take this seriously for it to work, and you have to stay consistent.
- Before church or any other planed destination where quietness is required:
- Explain to your children what you expect before you arrive at your destination. Say, “We are going to a place where you have to be as quiet as a church mouse. Let’s practice. What does a church mouse say? ______ That’s right, nothing.”
- Explain why they must stay quiet: So that you are able to worship Jesus and focus during the service, and so they do not distract other people around them. Also, explain what the consequences will be if they are rowdy and disruptive. For my kids, being rowdy or disruptive includes: Laying on the floor, pulling on people around them, distracting others around them, talking or making noise, getting up and down, putting their feet on the chairs, going in and out to use the bathroom (I have them use it before the service), and sitting to color when they should be standing to sing.
- Go prepared! Bring an activity bag for your children. Having the element of surprise with what is in the bag makes it that much more exciting. Do not pull the bag out right away. Let your children pay attention to the activities first (singing at church, etc.), and then bring the bag out.
- Explain to your kids ahead of time that you have a bag of activities. Say, “I will tell you when you may see and play with what is in the bag. It is important that you keep your hands in your lap. You may not lift your hands above your head because you will be a distraction to the other people around you.”
Figure out what works best for your child. Because I cannot sit next to my kids much of the time, I have found they actually do better sitting completely by themselves within eyesight of me at all times. Some kids do so much better next to a specific individual or a complete stranger! Do you have an older adult that could “adopt” your child every once in a while by sitting next to him or her?
Ideas for things to take in your activity bag (avoid things that could potentially make noise!):
1. Lace Up Cards
2. Old Flannel Graph your church is no longer using
3. A small toy that doesn’t make noise
4. Coloring book with crayons (not markers)
5. Worksheets
6. Books
7. Lap Books/Quiet Games like the ones found here: Pinterest: Quiet Books
Personally, I want my kids to learn the discipline of sitting still because there are way too many adults that can’t sit and stay focused through an hour long church service. I have a challenging situation on a regular basis, as every single Sunday I am on the stage along with my husband for the first half of the service. I have no physical control over what my children are doing, other than giving them “the eye” while trying to focus on singing! I explain to my kids, right before I leave them (either seated alone, in the front row, or next to my mom in the 2nd row), that I expect them to stand and sing with everyone else, and pay attention to what is going on. I tell them they are allowed to open their bags and color or write once the music is done and everyone else is seated. My kids know that if I catch them misbehaving, laying on the floor, pulling at the clothes of the people around them, talking to each other or distracting people behind them, I will be the one escorting them out the door when the kids are dismissed for children’s church, and they will not like what happens next. At times, it seems like every single week I am having to pull them aside and punish one of them for acting up, but in the long run, I know that being consistent is key!
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